Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
