Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
