Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
