Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
