Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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