I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
