everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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