Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
