you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
