Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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