You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize