Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
