I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
