is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
