hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
