At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
