we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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