So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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