I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
