Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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