We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize