i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is her dick bigger than yours?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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