I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize