Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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