did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize