I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
