i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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