so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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