I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
