a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
