thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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