I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
