...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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