Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
