Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
