he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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