i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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