Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
