I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"it" just moved
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
