the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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