just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
