Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
