Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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