she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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