I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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