CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
