I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
