And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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