I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
