I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
