i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
