And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
