we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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