I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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