dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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