Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
