I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
