she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize