He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
