Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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