U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
