The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
