We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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