Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think i peed on brittanys purse
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
