HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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