the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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