Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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