Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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